Standby Assistance and a Lift Chair: Where to Stand When a Parent Rises

I learned to stop standing in front of my mother when she gets up from her lift chair. It feels helpful to face her, but it puts me in the path of her knees and blocks her view of the floor. Now I stand to her side, usually on her stronger side, with one hand near the armrest and my feet slightly apart. I keep my body relaxed, not braced to haul her upward. The chair does the lifting; I provide steadying.

First I make sure the footrest is down and latched, if it latches. A footrest left up changes the whole shape of the transfer, and she can catch a heel. Then I check the path in front of her: no throw rug, no oxygen tubing, no walker wheels turned sideways. I move the side table back, too, because she likes to reach for it as she stands. I ask her to sit forward, feet flat, and use the armrests. If she asks for my arm, I offer my forearm, not my hand, so she can grip without pulling me off balance.

The part I had to practice was not pulling on her arms. My instinct was to grab under her elbow and lift. That made her feel rushed and made me feel strong when I wasn’t. Now I place a hand lightly at her shoulder blade or near her waist only if she wants it, and I let her set the pace. I say something simple like, “Take a second. Feet under you.” Then I wait. If she pauses, I wait longer.

It also helps to think about where I stand after she is up. I stay at her side and slightly behind her shoulder, not in front, so she has room for her first steps. For more detail on standby assistance and lift chair caregiver support, I keep a short checklist taped inside a cabinet. The main rule is the one I remember: side stance, footrest down, armrests first, clear path, and no pulling on arms. Check your chair’s own instructions and your parent’s care plan, since every situation is a little different.

— Linda Hayes