‘Grief became my brand’: Freya Bromley on writing about personal tragedy

The author’s memoir about her brother’s death allowed her to connect with readers who shared their own experiences of loss, transforming her isolating grief into a point of connection. While this process was initially fulfilling, she later felt guilt over commodifying her family’s tragedy and struggled with the pressure to perform a certain version of her grief. Ultimately, she learned that listening and acknowledging others’ pain is more powerful than offering articulate responses, finding a way to carry loss through conversation and writing.

• The author initially coped with her brother’s death by pretending and imitating normality, feeling like a ghost in her own life.
• Her memoir, ‘The Tidal Year,’ about swimming in tidal pools, became a way to process loss and find joy after tragedy, resonating with readers who shared their own intimate experiences.
• She found power in acknowledging pain through words but felt pressure to respond wisely, learning that listening was more impactful than speaking.
• The success of her book led to guilt about commodifying her family’s tragedy, making her feel she needed redemption.
• She realized that people grieving often miss not just the person, but also the version of themselves that existed before the loss.
• The author believes we don’t ‘move on’ from grief but ‘move through’ it, carrying the weight of stories, which feels lighter through shared conversations.
• She continues to engage with others by asking them about the person they are missing, allowing them to say their name again.