Guest Voices: Just Make A Decision

• • In the spirit of community, welcome back to another Guest Voices post! This week, I’m excited to share a piece from one of my dear friends, Gracie, who has taught me so much about living life authentically and selflessly. No matter where you’re at in life, I think her reflections here will resonate with you. Hi! I am Gracie Murphy, a current senior at Southern Illinois University-Carbondale studying Agribusiness Economics and Agricultural Communications. I am a proud big sister to five younger siblings, and I am blessed to be engaged to Chase Howell (who wrote a guest blog here a few weeks ago), who always encourages me to seek opportunities for growth and impact. I have had the privilege of serving in leadership positions for multiple organizations, which helped form my values around service, authenticity, intentionality, and faith. Miriam’s blog is a place where I can go to reflect, both on her experiences that she writes about and also on my own. Her blogs always seem to ground me in the chaos of life and help me take a step toward growth and making a positive difference in this world. “Just make a decision. Make it right. And go with it.” A family member said this to me during a week when I was spiraling over everything. Choosing classes to take in the fall, applying (or not applying) for jobs, what meals to cook that week, and which photographer to hire for our wedding. Let’s talk about that for a second: wedding planning. It’s a beautiful season to be in, it truly is. My engagement with my fiancé, Chase, has led to so many purposeful discussions and personal growth for both of us. But when it comes to wedding planning, everyone has an opinion. Everyone. The food, the desserts, the dresses, the flowers, the suits, the guest list, the budget… you get the idea. In the span of a single week, I heard: • “You’re only getting married once. Might as well go all out!” • “You shouldn’t be spending that much money on just one day.” • “It really doesn’t matter what you do. The day should be about you two.” • “The day isn’t just about you two, you should make sure your guests have fun.” With all the love in my heart for our family and friends who have provided advice and tips, I’ll admit, it’s a lot. And trying to balance other people’s expectations with our own hopes for the day has been… tricky. When I vented about this to a close family member, she offered that simple line: “Just make a decision. Make it right. And go with it.” That stuck with me. Because the truth is, wedding planning isn’t the only place this has shown up in my life. Graduating college, choosing a college to go to, picking a place to live, applying for jobs, choosing hobbies, determining who to spend my time around, figuring out what to have for dinner… life is basically just one long string of decisions. And, the wild part is, people will always have something to say about every single one. Have you ever felt your own voice getting drowned out by everyone else’s? Have you ever made a choice you felt good about, only to second-guess it after one conversation? Whether you have experienced planning a wedding or not, it’s not an uncommon thing to feel so overwhelmed by decision fatigue and external voices that you struggle to trust your own opinions. I’m not saying we should ignore all the advice we are given. There is real value in wisdom, guidance, and mentorship from others. But there is also value in learning how to navigate the noise. For me, I have found that it boils down to three things: decision fatigue, loud external voices, and trusting yourself. Below are some things I’ve been doing (or at least attempting) to help combat these struggles, and I hope they provide some kind of guidance to those of you struggling with this as well. Decision FatigueI’ve learned that decision fatigue usually shows up when I give myself way too many options. Keeping things simple has helped more than I expected. Here’s what has helped me: • Research to feel informed, not to feel overwhelmed. When I start to feel that overwhelming feeling creep in, I stop. Table it. Come back later with fresh eyes. • Narrow choices down to 2-3 solid options. Then dive deeper into those 2-3 to find the one that fits the best. • Set a gentle deadline. Saying “let’s choose this by the end of week” has helped make the decisions not feel like they are looming over us. Handling the Volume of External VoicesAs someone who talks to my mom, grandma, or sister almost daily, this one has taken some practice, I’ll admit. Starting with my own thoughts first has made a huge difference. Here’s what I suggest: • Get clear on what you want before asking for input. It’s also okay to say, “I’ll think on that,” and change the subject before they provide any more opinion on the matter. • Talk to someone who listens without immediately giving their opinion. For me, this is Chase. I recommend finding someone who genuinely is just there to listen to your thoughts and help you connect things together, without providing their opinion first. • Filter advice through your own values instead of letting others decide for you. Trusting YourselfTrusting yourself is like a muscle: it gets stronger the more you use it. For me, this is especially where my faith plays a huge role. Here are my recommendations: • Make decisions that align with your values. That makes it easier to back them. • Hold on to that feeling of joy you get when you know you made the right decision. Remember that when people try to tell you otherwise. • Don’t be afraid to advocate for yourself. Make a decision, stick with it, and back it.

At the end of the day, life isn’t about making perfect decisions. It’s about making honest ones. Decisions that reflect who you are, what you value, and the life you’re building. The world will always have something to say, but you’re the one who has to live with your choices. So, make a decision. Make it right. And go with it. Happy decision-making! Thanks for reading Gracie’s Guest Voices contribution! Feel free to share with someone in your life who’s balancing big life decisions. Share One Thing Differently:What’s a decision you’ve been struggling to make due to overwhelming external voices? Which one of Gracie’s tactics could help you find the most clarity? Leave a comment