Source: She Told Women How To Look Sexier. I Have the Data on That. Publisher: Cartoons Hate Her | Author: Cartoons Hate Her Published: March 20, 2026 | Archived: March 21, 2026

Because I’m pathologically afraid of disagreement, I don’t often rebut Substack essays, but my hope here is that the rebuttal will be viewed as a thoughtful reflection with some helpful data (and free promotion, hah) as opposed to a catfight (or, how this is more realistically going to be perceived, cope from a bitter old hag with small tits).

Okay, hold up. What am I talking about? Aria Schrecker wrote a fairly viral essay about how women can get sexier (or in other words, looksmaxx) specifically to find a husband. As a nerd who has no qualms talking about sexual attraction in a relatively callous way (I have a whole spreadsheet of my waist-hip measurements, because I am insane) I’ve written about this kind of thing too.

Some people took issue with Aria’s article for being too shallow or putting too much onus on women to look good for men. But that’s not my issue with it. There are probably women out there who want to look sexier, and there’s nothing wrong with giving them some tips and tricks if they have somehow missed the memo that men like long hair and natural-looking makeup. So no, I am not offended or aghast at the vanity of it all. I just…factually disagree with some of the conclusions drawn.

Overall, Aria’s essay was about 70% correct—or, at the very least, her baseline assumptions were correct. Yes, men (generally) prefer long hair on women. Yes, men (generally) prefer slim women. And men unanimously prefer clear skin, because last I checked, nobody has an acne fetish (okay, I’ll ask Aella, I’m sure someone out there has an acne fetish.) But some things veered into weird, unsubstantiated territory. For example, she asserts that the ideal woman’s measurements are 39-24-39, and admits this ratio is very rarely found in nature. She is probably correct, broadly speaking, and those are the measurements I’d probably choose for myself if I magically could, although I wouldn’t get plastic surgery to achieve it (she advises women to get boob jobs and go on GLP-1s). However, she goes a step further: if it’s possible to be even curvier than this (ie: Kim Kardashian) you should aim for that instead. There is apparently no maximum on curves, as long as you aren’t fat.

She even advises women never to get a breast reduction no matter how enormous, saggy or uncomfortable their breasts are. She also affirms that all men—yes, including highly-educated, upper class men—prefer large anime-size breasts with basically no maximum (which again, is why you should never get a breast reduction.)

But about a month ago, I did a survey on digitally generated male and female body types, and asked 3,000 people of different genders, ages, sexualities and political orientations to tell me which bodies they found appealing. They had three options: yes, no or “this is my type” for bodies that they found especially appealing. I’ve been sitting on this data for a while, waiting for a moment where it made sense to share, and I think this is that moment!

First of all, let’s talk about the top female body type for straight men, based not only on overall acceptance rate but on the proportion of men who said “this is my type.”

This is the body type. This body type was accepted by 96% of men who are attracted to women, and considered the ideal “type” by 17%. Keep in mind the digital generator I used made it pretty hard for me to generate bodies with extreme proportions. This body type represents a slender woman (about a size 2 or 4, not 00) with curves, but not “boob job and BBL” curves. So yes, Aria is basically correct. If you have the capability to be slim (not underweight) with curves, you should optimize for that if you care, via finding your ideal weight and weightlifting to maximize thighs and glutes (which is what I do, per my fitness guide.)

All of these bodies fall into the same basic category of “slim with a waist” but as you can see, the last one isn’t even particularly curvy, and was considered one of the most attractive bodies in the dataset!

If you believe Aria’s essay, you will come to learn that men are absolutely repulsed by narrow-framed, skinny women with small boobs and butts. AKA: the model physique. I have a separate article coming out about the runway model physique and the myth that only “gay men” find it appealing, but Aria more or less repeats this belief. I can’t blame her, because people say it so often that it’s considered settled law at this point. The sky is blue, the grass is green, runway models are only desired by women and gay men. She asserts that Victoria’s Secret models are “for the female gaze” and that men just aren’t interested in them.

But this is patently untrue, given the fact that the one thing models don’t seem to be starving for is male attention. (She also cites Taylor Swift as a “female gaze” example, and she’d hardly be the first to say that, but need I remind you: Taylor Swift is literally always with a man, and is engaged to a very attractive man!) Every woman I know who has a body anything remotely close to Taylor Swift or a Victoria’s Secret model has an attractive husband or boyfriend. It’s kind of like the warning that men shouldn’t get too buff because “women don’t like bodybuilders” which I also covered. There just aren’t that many bodybuilders out there (or women who naturally look like Victoria’s Secret models) and nobody is at risk of “accidentally” looking like either of these groups. I have also never met a guy who was too muscular to find a girlfriend.

There are probably still far more men who like runway model bodies than women who look like runway models, and far more women who like ultra-buff guys than guys who are ultra-buff. Basically, if you naturally look like a runway model without starving yourself, you don’t need to change anything to get a man (unless you have a shitty personality, or you smell, or whatever.) But also, in case you take it the other way: you shouldn’t aim to look like a runway model if it doesn’t come naturally to you.

But I’ll tackle that in more detail another time. Let’s move on. Although the digital generator made it hard to create extreme proportions of any kind, I tried my best to generate what I believed would be the heterosexual male ideal by creating this body type:

That last body was intended to mimic that of a narrow-hipped skinny woman that men apparently find repulsive according to Aria’s essay—and guess what? It performed almost identically to the one with extreme curves.

This finding could, of course, be a matter of the types of men who fill out CHH surveys (and no, I don’t just mean men who are about to be put on PIPs for ranking naked Smurf women at work). My reader base skews upper middle class and white, and those things may very well effect sexual preferences. But Aria specifically mentions her tips are directed at women looking to snag upper middle class husbands. In fact, she directly refutes the idea that class has any bearing on your preference for exaggerated curves versus less curvaceous slender bodies, and says:

Some people think that rich men like flat chested, narrow hipped women and only poor men like curves. There isn’t a good reason to think this is true, just a handful of bad papers that people really wanted to believe in. I asked my richest friend. He is worth several million, seems to be an adequate husband and father, and prefers implausibly massive tits.

Why are people apparently so invested in believing this myth, per her accusation? Nobody knows. You’d think the various media cabals would have bigger fish to fry than spreading the insidious agenda that richer men don’t like breast implants.

Anyway, yes, aside from a few hopeful articles from the aforementioned media cabal, there are reasons to believe that a preference for extreme proportions of boobs and asses is less pronounced among rich men, and having one friend with millions of dollars isn’t really a data point. In fact, about two years ago, I surveyed several hundred men making over $200K annually to get to the bottom of this question, among other questions about the sexual habits and preferences of well-off men. (I did not ask about net worth, only salary.) I also had different questions for single wealthy men versus partnered wealthy men so I could established stated versus revealed preferences.

First of all, while the single wealthy men mostly preferred breasts that were average or bigger than average with all other things (such as body size) being equal, this was an incredibly low priority on their list of desired physical traits—again, somewhat in keeping with Aria’s thesis because they mostly wanted slim women, but hardly enough to justify the assertion that women should get huge breast implants (she warns against getting breast implants that are too small) and/or never get a breast reduction even in the face of pain.

When it came to the stated preferences of single men making over \(200K in my survey: their top desired trait was physical fitness, followed by being well-dressed, followed by being skinny. Having big butts or boobs were the second to last priority on the list, above only manicures/pedicures (Aria is correct that men DGAF about nails) and over half the men cited that this was actually an anti-priority, meaning they actively did not prefer a woman with a “big” butt or “big” boobs. (I don’t think they want *zero* boobs or butt either, just something more subtle.) Basically, the average high-earning single man wanted a skinny/slim girlfriend, and while boobs (and to a lesser extent, a butt) was a nice-to-have, they prioritized the svelteness over the curves. Both would be nice, to some extent, but curves just weren’t the priority. These men understand that women aren’t Build-A-Bears with vaginas. It’s key to point out that in practice, high-earning men actually [partnered with](https://www.cartoonshateher.com/p/the-sexual-habits-of-highly-successful) all different types of women, including ones who were overweight, but overwhelmingly they were most likely to describe their partner’s body size as “slim” (36%) or “average” (30%.) When partnered men shared their current partner’s breast size, it was also all over the map. In part, this could be because breast size isn’t everything (not to be corny, but uh, emotional/conversational chemistry is a pretty important thing) and there is an extremely limited number of women out there with Barbie-tier proportions. But given the stated preference of the single men, it’s likely some of these men *actually* just prefer average or smallish boobs. s_!dKvB!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22e4b0b5-061d-4fb2-9ae5-1b4d575c05f9_1226x574.webp)

In case you need some anecdata, think about one of the best catches of all time, JFK Jr:

Obviously, she was very attractive! This isn’t a “wow, can you believe SHE got HIM?” kinda thing. But my point is: if JFK Jr. felt it was really important to be with an extremely neotenous, soft-featured, curvaceous woman, he had plenty of options. I don’t think he merely suffered through CBK’s angular features and tall, model-type body because she had a good personality. I think she was his type—and that’s not really unusual.

Tall, slim, angular woman has man attracted to her? In NYC? You’re telling me this now for the first time.

Me as a little girl, for reference. She had no idea she would one day be the preeminent liberal intellectual of our time:

This is still just a general rule, though, and doesn’t hold true for everyone, especially if you have a particular vibe about you that goes with a certain hair color. There are men who go absolutely nuts for the Goth thing, and more polarizing looks can actually be advantageous in the dating market. Again, figure out your type, not just what’s flattering, and put those two things together. You’ll be more authentic, and appeal to people who like your type, which probably says a lot about your personality and overall vibe too. There is nothing more painful than watching a woman attempt to be a Malibu Barbie who is naturally more of a Monica Belucci (okay, maybe kidney stones are more painful, but you get what I’m saying.)

Figuring out your type also extends to your body. Yes, “slim with curves” will be attractive to the widest swath of men, but getting plastic surgery to achieve this look will likely repel more men (not to mention be expensive and create unnecessary risks) than it’s worth. You are best off figuring out your most attractive weight (which, I agree with Aria, doesn’t mean “as skinny as possible”) and your best features, and maximizing those, ideally without plastic surgery.

I’m an average-height, slim, pear-shaped woman. I will never be a boob girl unless I get a boob job, and contrary to what Aria believes, I think a lot of guys (not all) are actively turned off by boob jobs—yes, even if they are artfully done. If a guy is a boob man, he will not be into me. Although I’m married, in a hypothetical world where I wasn’t, I see no point in attempting to appeal to boob men when I could just keep what I have and appeal to ass men (like my wonderful husband.)

I’m not posting a photo of my ass here—just take my word for it that I have more going on there than in the boob department.

When I was single, it made more sense for me to “court the ass vote” than to try to win over boob guys. Yes, some things are more appealing than others, and it makes sense to maximize your physical appearance if you are looking for a partner, and yes, perhaps men generally prefer bigger boobs over smaller ones, but you don’t need to appeal to everyone to find a good husband. You are better off working with your type and best features, and strengthening those things to appeal to the type of guy who really finds you attractive—not a generic, artificial, oversaturated ideal of feminine beauty.

There are natural blondes (or natural “blondes as children” women) with naturally big boobs who will be better big-boobed blondes than you could ever dream of being. Don’t court their base’s vote! You don’t need to, and they won’t vote for you! Aria says, “It’s better to be a beautiful woman who needs GLP-1s, hair extensions and 37 beauty products than it is to be a mid low maintenance girlfriend” but I would argue it’s better to be a pear-shaped brunette with a guy who likes pear-shaped brunettes than a bottle blonde with breast implants trying to appeal to guys who like natural blondes and natural big boobs.

I’m sure some people will read that and say, “Ah! She’s just mad because she doesn’t have big boobs.” And honestly, I’m at the point in my life when I could easily get a boob job if I wanted one, and I still haven’t. If I was that convinced that big boobs (with zero upper limit) were important to my husband, I’d have gotten a boob job by now, because I’ve made it clear I’m not one of those “fuck your male gaze” women, and I value looking hot. But much like dying my hair blonde, he has told me never to get a boob job, unless it’s for reconstructive purposes. Again: if he was really into blondes with big boobs, he would have just married one.

Of course, I shouldn’t have to say this, but looks aren’t everything, and I’m sure Aria knows that too. There is so much about attraction that is variable and unpredictable, and only so much can be established with studies and statistics (on which—not to be rude—her article is pretty light.) She is directionally correct, and yes, there are things women can do to improve their overall attractiveness to the widest swath of men. But “men like curves” does, in fact, have limitations (at least for most men) and there is no point in trying to mold yourself into a totally different “type” that goes against your best features and overall vibe. And I know this is a minor quibble, but I will die on the hill that a lot of white women should not dye their hair blonde just because they are white.

And now that I’ve presented some of my body type data—please let me know what else you’d like to see! Are you curious about how women rated men? The bodies lesbians found appealing in women compared to straight men? The way people’s political affiliation or age shaped what they liked? Let me know in the comments!