Source: Everyone Without My Sexual Tastes Is Virtue-Signaling Publisher: Cartoons Hate Her | Author: Cartoons Hate Her Published: March 23, 2026 | Archived: March 23, 2026

Who the hell is this for

Actually, I will concede that people do attempt to use straight women’s porn preferences as an indicator of their revealed preferences, but it’s less of a “men need to do XYZ to emulate the virgin gargoyle” and more “see how depraved and fucked up women are? Let’s take away their right to vote.”

There is also something to be said for AI-generated and anime-style porn being fairly self-selecting. Let’s say you’re interested in moderately chubby girls who look like regular people you’d see on the street—you can find plenty of that via amateur porn, so you’ll probably watch that. If you are into svelte women with boobs and butts anywhere from small to big, you can find an abundance of that via mainstream online porn. As a general rule, if it exists in the real world, you can find pretty much anything online. But if your preference is for women who have proportions and faces that don’t exist in nature, of course you’ll flock to AI and anime to get your fix! If you’re turned on by dress size 4 women with C-cups, why would you bother generating it via AI when there’s so much authentic content featuring women like this?

If you need more evidence that porn is not reality, look toward the increasingly-popular niche of incest porn (or step-incest porn) which can’t even really be called a “niche” anymore. Incest porn is incredibly popular because of the obvious taboo, but almost nobody watching it is actually attracted to their relatives—yes, even Sydney Sweeney’s brother. This is also why I don’t put too much stock in the popularity of the “MILF” or “teen” categories, nor do I believe searches for these keywords says anything about men’s preference for older or underage women. Porn is about extremes and taboos—it can reflect a real-life fantasy, but it doesn’t necessarily mean they want these women in real life.

Note that I do think there’s ample evidence to suggest that in practice, men are more attracted to younger women (duh), but they typically wind up marrying women only slightly younger than they are, in part because women’s preference is usually for men around their own age or slightly older and women have a say in the matter. Again, extremes tend not to manifest in real life the way they do in fantasy.

Keep in mind, my thesis was never that “men aren’t attracted to extreme curves” or “rich men don’t actually like boobs” (as it was, bafflingly, repeated back to me by people in bad faith) but rather that “curves with absolutely no upper limit” is not a universal or even majority preference. Moreover, getting plastic surgery to achieve it when your body type (at a healthy BMI) probably still appeals to plenty of men, doesn’t make sense. I think the best example of men’s revealed preferences is not their porn choices, let alone their AI-generated or anime porn choices (limited to the subset of men who watch that type of porn) but rather the women who they marry in real life, provided they have enough options that you can be confident they aren’t settling.

Go to a relatively upper class area and look at the young couples on a night out—the Chads and Stacies. Find the Chads, and take a look at who they are with, especially toward the beginning of the night when established couples are apparent, as opposed to last-call hookups. (I never made a habit of doing this deliberately—I’m not that much of a creep—but my husband and I go on enough date nights that it happens.)

Most likely, you will see some variation, especially depending on where you live! A Korean Chad will likely have a girlfriend who looks pretty different from a Mauritanian Chad (let alone, a Chadian Chad). Even sticking within America, you will notice variation in urban centers, East coast, West coast, North versus South. But in America, what you will most likely notice are some patterns—these women will typically be slimmer than your average American woman, they will have more symmetrical faces, better skin, and hair below their shoulders. They will typically have some visible muscle tone, but not look like Olympic wrestlers. I do not think you will notice a predominance of extreme augmented-looking curves or breast implants. You may see some, especially in areas or cultures where that’s more idealized, but it’s unlikely to be an established pattern everywhere or even in most places.

And like I said, there are cultural differences and regional differences. If you look at the wives of men working in finance in Manhattan, they will look different from the wives of professional athletes, and both of those groups of wives will look different from the wives of wealthy Mormon businessmen or the wives of tech entrepreneurs. This doesn’t mean any of these groups are “virtue signaling” and marrying women they don’t like for some stupid reason. Culture, including subculture, can influence the minor tweaks of what we find attractive, and it doesn’t mean anyone is lying. And even within those cultures, there will be variation. A sexual preference doesn’t need to be biologically hardwired for it to be genuine.

But the famed Sanilac post (which again, was overall pretty accurate, so this is not by any means a “takedown”) insists that any pattern for slim, subtly-curvy women among upper middle class men is pure virtue signaling and they secretly want women who look like voluptuous anime characters. Why would men with so many options screw themselves over like this? Are we really supposed to believe that powerful, wealthy men are lying about what they like—to the point of marrying women they find unattractive!—to gain the approval of the fashion industry? All while women are virtue-signaling by dating men their own age instead of men fourteen years older as they secretly desire! Sheesh, why is everyone engaged in such egregious self-sabotage?!

In fact, Sanilac uses this visual example of a bizarre “minority taste” that women, for some reason, “really wish to believe” is the mainstream as some form of self-preservation (how many women look like this? lol. I think lots of women would LOVE to hear that this ideal was not mainstream, actually.) Anyway, this is quite literally what the girlfriends of every Chad I see in my region look like, I’m not joking. It’s as if someone mashed them all up together to create the prototypical Chad Girlfriend, and then made them all a little hotter. And we’re supposed to believe only niche weirdos are into this:

(Let me be clear that I look nothing like her, so this is not a matter of my own self-preservation. I would be the first to acknowledge, in fact, that I am not the hottest woman at the supermarket. If you’re still worrying about that at my age, especially if you are already married, you need to stop reading articles like this and go plant a tree or something.)

Some people (including Sanilac) are convinced that aside from some outliers, every man (secretly or not so secretly) wants a woman who looks like an anime character, and if he’s not married to a woman who looks like that, it’s because he had to settle. And yes, surely some men and women do compromise on certain physical attributes to obtain a partner. But when people like Sanilac look at rich, handsome and famous men, who have loads of options, but who are married to conventionally attractive but non-Kardashian-looking women, the new script becomes: he chose her for vague acceptability and class-signaling reasons and isn’t really attracted to her. The same way women dating men their own age must secretly wish they were dating men fourteen years older. In this bizarre framework, they’ve made it impossible to disprove a fairly ridiculous point of view because anyone who disproves it is clearly just “lying and virtue signaling.”

I know celebrities aren’t great examples because their live are so different from ours, but because I don’t want to take creepshots of random rich, hot people in my area, look at how some of the most famous heartthrobs’ girlfriends and wives look. It’s not a Dove soap commercial, but there is, in fact, variety (and yes, I’m including some exes or on-again-off-again ones for men who are now single.)

I also do not mean that men aren’t attracted to women who naturally look like Kardashians (although to be honest, I don’t think these women exist in great numbers without surgical enhancements, even though a lot of women claim to naturally have this body type.) I also never once said that big boobs weren’t a male preference—I think all things being equal (face, body size, personality) your average man will prefer bigger boobs over smaller boobs, but I also think there’s a lot of variation in this area—more variation than the aforementioned blog posts grant—and a large number of men who just don’t care that much. If you hit the genetic lottery and actually look like a walking anime character, you will have no shortage of men who are interested in you, and I find it hard to believe women actually need validation on this! I just don’t think it’s a good idea for all women to go out and get plastic surgery to look this extreme. Beyond the basics of a healthy BMI, waist-defining attire, good skin and hair, grooming and symmetry, a lot of it is down to type, and type is pretty variable!

I generally prickle when I hear any opinion that begins with, “Society has lied to you and everyone is lying to be politically correct, but I know the truth but my evidence doesn’t exist because everyone is lying.” This is basically the crux of almost any stated versus revealed preference argument, especially as it relates to sexual attraction. But even if you accept the premise that stated versus revealed preferences are different, the best way to understand how to find an attractive husband is to look at the women who have attractive husbands. Define “attractive” however you want, but if you look around at the wives of the best-looking, most successful, most charismatic men you know in real life, you will probably find some consistent variables, and other things that are all over the place. And that doesn’t even touch the fact that as visual as men are, they absolutely have preferences for personality and shared values, and these things are much harder to measure in surveys…or by looking at porn history.