A woman's perspective on finances and men.

I write this with the most genuine intention; to simply put into words what had been in my heart for a long time; that it is not wrong for a woman to desire a man who has acquired financial stability for himself. Women are often portrayed as gold diggers when they speak of this desire, while men are praised for being providers. There’s a deep double standard that needs to be addressed.

I always knew a man’s financial state was never really about their financial state.

A man’s financial state matters not because of the money itself; for some women it might, but i’m speaking from the perspective of a financially stable, abundant woman who has created a fulfilling life on her own. I’ve had experiences dating broke men, and I’ve had experiences dating wealthy men.

A woman cares because a man’s ability to provide financially has much deeper, underlying implications. Implications that are way more important in terms of alignment and compatibility than a man simply ‘having’ money and being wealthy. It’s about what his wealth represents; A man’s ability to create financial wealth, stability and abundance is in close relationship to his connection to the divine masculine, his innate ability to create and it’s a clear indicator of his mindset, character, and values. A man that is broke has a very different set of values, qualities, behaviors and habits compared to those of a man who is making money.

I understand for as much as I can, that growing up in a world where little boys are taught that the only value they bring is that of financial provision, that their worth is tied to how able they are to provide for a woman and a family can do unimaginable things to a man’s psyche. I am absolutely not implying that a man who is unable to provide or is financially unstable is unworthy of receiving love from a woman. I’m simply highlighting why women might care about a man’s financial state and why it matters.

Due to this conditioning; all of the men I have encountered who haven’t been able to create financial stability for themselves struggle with feelings of unworthiness and insecurity. When inviting a woman into their field as they are simultaneously dealing with that state of being, they might be unable to receive the fullness of her feminine offerings and even deepen those feelings of unworthiness due to their added inability to provide for their woman. Not from a place of ‘I am only worthy if I offer providership’ but from a place of ‘It is my natural desire to provide for a woman and I am unable to’.

I believe that men are protectors and providers of the physical world, while women are protectors and keepers of the spirit world. Masculine energy is rooted in action, stability, security and safety. The desire to provide in a man is often encoded in the masculine heart. A deeply spiritual woman is a deeply feminine woman; she desires someone who can protect her in this physical dimension, so she can fully devote to the becoming of her most divine feminine expression, which in turn nurtures and allows the masculine to rise even further. So together, men and women can create heaven on earth.

A deeply feminine woman desires a man that has a clear mind. A man that she can trust to lead her in the physical world, a man she can fully soften around, a man that offers her the gift of safety to she can relax into her feminine more. A man’s financial stability is often a clear indicator of the strength, resilience and power of his mind. It reflects his inner masculine maturity and proves he can set a vision, move through resistance, and create structure. The trials and tribulations a man undergoes in order to acquire wealth is what makes him into the man able to navigate a relationship, build a family and be the masculine container for the feminine to thrive. And truly when the feminine thrives, the world thrives.

Having said this, I would also like to highlight that, as a woman discerning whether a man’s financial state is a dealbreaker or not, there’s a difference between projecting your hopes onto a man versus witnessing his own embodied desire to become the man he’s meant to be. When you can feel that he believes in himself, not from a place of proving, but from a grounded sense of direction and self-trust. When you recognize his holding of his own vision, and you are simply witnessing the unfolding, not trying to shape it for him. In this instance it might work.

I’d love to hear how this lands.

With love, Isle