I may not be an O.G. of the bitcoin space, but I look back on the start of 2021 with pride, that I was part of the cohort that, without realising it, began their covid sponsored, 40HPW educational journey into bitcoin. During this period, while shitcoins were still very much around, ordinals and NFTs were on every grassy knoll, ready to remove those newly earnt sats from your yield baring account. Times were bright and we were being continually tested as to whether or not our future selves could be viewed as 2025 pioneers!

Today, where are we? Nearly 4x above the China mining ban lows of 2021, an opportunity to stack like a retard in November of 2022, some “regulatory clarity”, things are pretty good. However, this does not seem enough for many podcasters, influencsoor, or even some of those pioneers who may have been promised moon by Q3. So, what has this comfort and security of what may have turned into quite the nest egg, less anxiety for fiat mine promotions, more time with the family, or the need for the next trade that will retire both you and your bloodline? Unfortunately, while the yield generating mafia of the last cycle were caught with their pants around their ankles, the ominous silhouette of today’s destroyer may have already showed is face, Mr. Saylor. For those of you who weren’t able to put all your assets into bitcoin in 2021-2023 (pensions and what not), you’ve probably done rather well for his first mover advantage, even if lately, the sparkle has begun to tarnish. This initially logical) strategy (save in bitcoin rather than cash), moved quickly into a refined version of the fiat games so many of us aim to leave behind, where printing equity or issuing bonds provided a never-ending stream of newly printed dollars with which to buy bitcoin.

So, here we are in 2025, Voyager, Three Arrows, FTX, Celsius etc, are all behind us, with a few of you managing to extract what remnants of assets you were able to claw back after the lawyers took their cut. However, the next wave of “send me one bitcoin and I’ll send you a little more back” have arrived, and this time they are neatly packaged within publicly traded wrappers. Gone are the risks of all out fraud, but in come the risks of insider dealings, business models built on hubris and almost all missing the fundamental purpose of a business; to provide the customer value. Who gets the value from these pure play (or pretty much pure play) bitcoin treasury companies? The ones who get in early, who can build the most “buzz” about their offerings, initial funding, initial funders and maybe a good, healthy smattering of “trusted voices”, to share their own company’s play with their loyal following. I’ve played this game with MSTR, I’ve dabbled with a few others, missed selling the pump and now 70% down.

But I get ahead of myself, this is not about bitcoin treasury companies, keyboard warriors such as myself are accused of pointing out all the things wrong with the world, without suggesting alternatives, so here, we, go.

I think bitcoin treasury companies may have had their day, MSTR is doing a fine job, they’ve cornered the market, first mover advantage and have created a yield curve that matches the needs of many customers who can neither buy bitcoin or want to own bitcoin. In addition to the shareholders, they appear to be adding value to their customers. The sad fact is then any other company attempting to do the same will be doing so at a disadvantage to MSTR, both in terms of cost of capital and the need to offer higher yields (to offset higher risks). As a result, my proposal for this space is to move away from bitcoin treasuries, and realise there are other assets that are equally rear, valuable, inimitable and non-substitutable (thanks academia). This asset also needs to be able to add value (maybe only intangible value) to the owner, whether that is to the join in knowing they are doing something positive or simply that owning this asset brings them joy. Everyone could probably do with a little more joy in their lives, being over $100k for neigh on 100 days just doesn’t seem to cut it.

This may seem a little strange, but bear with me, I am proposing the idea of setting up a treasury company for the ashes of bitcoin dogs. Selling ownership of these ashes to those who want to be part of an already strong group of bitcoin pioneers who have or had dogs and want to celebrate their contribution to their journey. This may be directly, in terms of keeping them calm through a bear market, or indirectly, by giving bitcoiners the opportunity to clear their mind while they pick up their best friend’s poop. At this time, I’ve not decided what to do with any income created as I share ownership of portions of my dogs ashes, although fortunately, ashes are near infinitely divisible, so fear not, the ashes will be able to be shared around to all those who are interested in being part of this movement.

While this is still an embryonic idea in my tiny mind, I have plans to expand the team with carefully selected pioneers to join me in this journey of discovery and growth. Saying that, I’m not going to blindly follow any number of those bitcoin treasury companies that approach their influencer of choice, with the offer of equity in exchange for their capital/expertise/following. The requirements for becoming part of this Bitcoin Dog Treasury Company is more discerning, I am not looking for investment, I am definitely not looking for reach, what I am looking for is an opportunity to expand the company’s treasury, with the ashes of their late dog. Please note, I would never ask someone to cremate their dog purely to be part of the company, totally unacceptable. For this reason, I have identified two candidates to be part of my founding team, Joey of the Canadian Bitcoiners Podcast (with the help of Scoop, GRHS) and James Check (I think Scruffy was his name and he was inscribed on the timechain). While I have confidence Joey will remain bitcoin treasury company free, I am concerned James will be within the crosshairs of bitcoin treasury companies, I only hope he makes the right choices moving forward and considers joining us.

Now, as I said, the aim of the business proposal is the business is to contribute back to bitcoin, in terms of reducing anxiety related to “which is the next bitcoin treasury company I should buy”. While now is also the part where I might also say that being part of this company will help build a community, that is not something I want, communities are a breeding ground for free riders, and anyway, we’re pioneers.  Instead, I will suggest that those who purchase shares of bitcoin dog ash will feel they are part of something different, will hopefully think about this when they head out with their own dog and share their thoughts with other pioneers. To prevent pioneers becoming over-exposed to this potentially strong force, rather than those early investors accessing lower cost equity, an alternate model of voluntary membership maybe explore. The aim of this approach is to gradually build a foundation of dog focused pioneers, ready to swear off the allure of bitcoin treasury pump and dumps, store their UTXOs as pirates would have done, being able to explain the node implementation they run (or not run in the case of Joey) and then muse of ways in which they can convince the family that bitcoin holdings should be proportional to the number of dogs in a household. Number go up GOOD.